Picture That!
by tothineownselfbetrue
Summary: Takes place some months after the horrors of the season 7 finale. Sara's brother is getting married, why is it affecting her so much? May seem GSR to begin with but will be SW. WIP. Increased the rating. Adult themes in Chap 3.
1. Chapter 1

This is a story about Sara and Warrick. If you'd told me a few months ago that I'd be reading let alone writing 'swarrick' I think I might have laughed. Not that I had anything against it but I was an avid GSR fan. So now I am floating on the fence – not sure which I'm going for nowadays. Unfortunately I think I've read all the Sara/Warrick fics out there which has left me somewhat (pathetically – I might add) depressed. So please, please, pretty please with sugar and strawberries and all things nice feel free to write some more, just for me :)

I don't write much, though I love it; I just don't have a great talent for it. Having said that I have no talent for singing either but I bet my husband wishes that I would stop violating his eardrums. So wish me luck, only my 3rd fic and my 1st SW.

This is a story that takes place after the season 7 finale. I am trying to stick to the storyline as we know it as best I can, but please forgive any errors with the history and also the writing. I'm not perfect. _Shh! Please don't tell my husband! _Unbeta'd

Cheers.

P/S I own nothing except the computer I am currently using._Please don't leave me my darling laptop!_)

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**Picture That!**

Chapter 1

A lot had happened in Sara's life in the last six months. Everyone was so overwhelmed and relieved when they finally found her under Natalie's horrific crime scene, not in the least herself. Sara later found out that in the course of the investigation Grissom had dropped a few accidental and none too subtle hints about their relationship. Thankfully her colleagues were too shocked and frightened for her life to take much notice so it continued that only Brass knew about them. That didn't matter for long though because soon there was barely a them to know about. Initially it seemed like they might make it out okay. But it soon became apparent that their own personal scars from the horrific nightmare were too much for each of them to bare and instead of slowly destroying themselves and each other further with their tortured emotions and actions they made the painful decision to separate.

Grissom could no longer look at Sara without seeing her pale, lifeless body under the car. He couldn't see her sleeping without seeing her dead body lying in a coffin of sand and metal. Though he never loved anyone as much as he loved her he couldn't look her in the eye anymore, he would flinch at her touch, sleeping with her became the only time they had any physical contact. And it was suffocating, constricting sleep. The real alive Sara couldn't bring him back from his nightmares no more than she could stop her own. For Sara it wasn't a whole lot different. Instead of being quiet she became withdrawn, every flinch of Grissom's, every grunt or mumble that replaced actual conversation sending her further into her own world. The way he held her at night only fuelled her terrifying nightmares of that time, reminding her so much of the feeling of being almost crushed to death.

They tried counseling for couples who had been through painful experiences but while it helped them understand their partner's reactions it did nothing to take the hurt and pain of it away. So two months after Sara got her life back she lost the love of her life. It took five years to bring them together, they shared the two happiest years of their lives and it only took 48 hours and two months of hell to tear them apart. The split was a joint decision and as agonizing as it was they knew it had to happen. Both could feel their sanity slowly slipping away. So Sara went back to her apartment and Grissom stayed at his townhouse. They told Brass, though he could see it coming and he did his best to be there for both his best friend and his surrogate daughter.

It took three times weekly therapy sessions but now Sara could finally say she was "okay" when asked and not feel like she was lying. The nightmares had lessoned, she was working on her fear of small spaces and was also getting back her love of mechanics. She had even managed to go out with the guys for drinks once or twice and not feel like the world was closing in on her. Nick, Greg and Warrick had become her lifesavers. She knew that without them she wouldn't have come so far so quickly. They made it their mission to get her to smile and then to laugh and finally to help her find that Sidle spirit that she seemed to have lost. Catherine was a surprise. They had become friends in recent years but were never 'friends in a crisis' close. But Cath really came through for her, knowing instinctively if the guys were getting too much, or if Sara just needed someone to vent with. Plus she made it her duty to put some weight of Sara's bones and so six months later Sara still had a well stocked freezer.

Everyone was a bit shocked when Sara came back to work after only three weeks. But with her life the way it was at home work really was the only place she had where she could escape and feel somewhat like her old self. She knew her friends and co-workers all thought it was too soon, but as usual Sara proved everyone wrong and probably handled her return better than anyone.

Natalie's trial date came and went last month. Everybody had to testify and they all struggled with it, but she could tell that mostly they worried about the effect it would have on her and her recovery. Once again they underestimated her. Sara took the stand with Natalie in the room and held her own. Walking out afterwards Sara had felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, she had survived the best efforts of a serial killer and come out on top. When Natalie was declared insane and sentenced to an institute for life Sara couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her. Then she knew she had defiantly made impressive progress. Warrick just shook his head, pulled her into his arms and laughed when she told him that, he didn't let go of her for a good ten minutes.

So now after a tough six months Sara could feel the clouds shifting and the little rays of light that had been missing from her world since that time were starting to shine back in and she was grateful for it. She hadn't given up. That was essentially the difference between her and Grissom. When they found her he had already given up on her, something he could never forgive himself for. Grissom had made a lot of progress though and while it still hurt they were on their way back to being friends again.

This was all going through Sara's mind as she sat in the passenger seat of the Denali with Catherine and Warrick on their way back from what turned out to be a rather mind numbing waste of LVPD resources. Teenage kids playing pranks with fireworks and an old tape recording of screams in an abandoned warehouse. So the possible gunshots and casualties was simply a stupid boyhood game. Very Home Alone she thought.

The comfortable silence in the car was interrupted by the annoying noise coming from Sara's cell phone. Followed quickly by Warrwick's howling laughter and Catherine's raised eyebrows.

"Nice ring tone there Sara, you can come under my umbrella anytime you like baby!"

"Shut up Warrick, God I hate this song, Catherine tell you daughter that she is going to pay for this – I can't believe that little rat did this, remind me next time to bitch to her about a song that I actually like."

Somehow the people in Sara's life had a knack for calling her at the most frustrating times. There was the call from her gyno while she was sitting with the guys in the break room. Then more recently was the time she was in a meeting with Grissom and Eckile when she forgot to turn off her cell and got an (albeit innocent) call from a male friend. Let's just say that did not go down well. And Sara wasn't sure which male was more pissed. So all Sara can think as she reaches for her phone is please let it be work related.

"So, you gonna answer that or not?" says Catherine as she watches Sara watching her phone.

Taking her eyes off the offending object Sara looks at her colleague.

"Hmm…Oh, yeah, sorry". She hesitantly hits the talk button.

"Sidle…Oh hi Danny. Sorry this isn't a good time I'm at work. Can I call you back?" She begins to pull her cell away when she suddenly stops and almost squeaks "What? Really? When?...You could have let me know sooner you know? I don't think I'll be able to make it Danny it's too short notice" Her co-workers are watching her with looks that are equal parts curiosity and amusement, she does her best to shoot them down with the well known Sidle glare and indicates to Catherine that she really should be focusing more on the road.

"…Okay, look I'll think about it. No Danny, I can't give you an answer now I said I'll think about it. Danny…Danny…Danny…" Sara finally loses her patience and yanks the phone away from her ear, with an apologetic look to Catherine and Warrick she yells into the mouthpiece "DANNY". Warrick and Catherine both jump about a foot in the air at the sound of her yelling, both well acquainted with that tone in her voice and secretly glad that it is not directed at them!

"I'll call you back after I've had time to think Danny. That's the best I can do. Bye."

As soon as she hangs up the 'vulture' pounces. "Who the hell is Danny? Sara…" Catherine asks with the true gleam of a gossip queen shining in her eye "…do you have a boyfriend we don't know about?"

For his part Warrick just chuckles before going quiet realising that he would really love to know the answer to that question.

Sara however wasn't giving much away. "Cath, firstly no I am not seeing anyone behind your back and secondly not that its any of your business but Danny is my brother." At Catherine's surprised look she sighs and says "I'd really rather leave it at that."

But Catherine cannot be sidetracked once she gets started "I didn't know you had a brother Sara. Is he older or younger? How close are you? Where does he live? Come on Sara, don't leave us hanging here we're your friends"

Another sigh from Sara and glance at Warrick and she decides _Why not?_

"Ok, Ok. Well he's older by eight years. We are not by any means close, in fact we just really met up again a couple of years ago. He lives in San Francisco." She takes a deep breath "Anything else Catherine?"

"Yeah – what did he call for, by your reaction it kind of sounded like it was a bit out of the blue."

"Um, well, he's getting married in two weeks and wants me to be there."

It's Warrwick's turn to react "What! Wow, two weeks, that is short notice. Not that I can talk…" He adds, glad to see Sara chuckle at that. "…you have to go Sara, he's your brother. I'm sure Grissom will give you the time off if that's what you're worried about."

"No it's not that, well it is a little, but, look I just really don't want to go into it. Thanks anyway but I will sort this out myself." Sighing again she turns her head to stare out the window signaling the end to the conversation. Warrick and Catherine just share a glance and settle back into a slightly uneasy silence.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Picture That!**

Chapter 2

Five hours later Sara and Warrick are both tackling their much loathed paperwork in the work space that the four younger CSI's share. Well Sara is pretending to do paperwork but is thinking about her brother and his wedding while Warrick is pretending to do paper work but is actually trying to figure out what is bothering Sara so much about her brother's wedding. Finally he gives up after about her twentieth sigh and goes for a more direct approach to getting the answers he wants.

"Alright, that's it Sidle. Why did that phone call freak you out so much?"

"Warrick, I already said I don't want to talk about it. Please just leave it alone."

"No Sara, I am not going to let you get out of talking about this, It clearly upset you, I've never managed to put a larger dent in my paper work than you when we have these work sessions." He says trying to lighten the atmosphere but he notices that Sara won't even raise her eyes to him now and decides to continue with a softer approach.

As he makes his way to her desk he almost pleads with her "Sar, Sara look at me please. I need to see your eyes" He places his hand under her chin and raises her face to his. Hearing the concern and love in his voice she looks in his eyes and wills herself not to cry.

Seeing the look of; well the only word he could think to describe it was lost, his heart went out to her. "Sara, girl please tell me what is going on. What's the worst that could happen? I say 'well Sara that's a mighty big problem and I have no idea how to help.' You know I will do what ever I can to help you".

Sara sighs –again- and says "Warrick I can't talk about it…"

"Come on Sara, please just let me in."

"No you don't understand, I can't talk about it here Warrick, not at work, I don't think I could hold it together. So please don't push, not right now."

"Okay, here's the deal, now more pushy Brown…" that bought what could almost be called a small smile to Sara's face "…on the condition that you come to mine after work and I will treat you to my famous pancakes while you tell me what has taken that beautiful Sidle smile off your face today! And Sara?." he says again making sure she is looking him in the eye "This is not negotiable!" Another sigh, but this time it is more of an okay you win sigh and that Warrick can live with! He gently squeezes her hand before walking back to his own desk. "One hour to go Sidle – whoever gets the most work done chooses the topping." He says with a smile "Think you can handle the challenge?" Sara doesn't say anything but gives him a small but cocky smirk and waves some paperwork in his direction.

Being challenged, especially by Warrick, always got Sara's attention; no one was going to get off lightly once a challenge had been laid. So for the next 58 minutes Sara blocked her troubles and focused on whooping her friends butt! Warrick may have challenged Sara to take her mind off whatever was bothering her but that didn't mean he was going to let her beat him!

"Okay," Warrick says "time to fess up! How many files did your get through?"

"Well, I saw you rushing through your work over there CSI Brown, but I think as usual my results will far outweigh you meager offerings" Warrick can't help but laugh at the teasing tone of Sara's voice.

"Oh get real Sidle – so I flawlessly completed 6 case files ready for Grissom's signature. You?"

Sara doesn't even try to hide the evil smirk from her face as she replies "Wow, Warrick that's pretty good. You must be very proud, definitely beats my 8 and a half completed case files. Oh hang on, sorry my math skills let me down for a second there. I think 8 and a half is actually more than 6. Isn't Warrick? Please correct me if I'm wrong!"

"Oh Ha-ha Sidle. Picture that! – the physics genius who can't do math! I was distracted! Anyway my dear what's your pancake poison?" He asked as they begin gathering their coats and paperwork to drop off in Grissom's office.

Walking down the corridor Sara appears to be deep in thought "I'm thinking berries and whipped cream, maybe some chocolate syrup" she says.

Warrick can't help but comment as they make their way to their boss's office "Well, now Sara, I can think of something more interesting than pancakes to put those ingredients on!"

They are both laughing as they enter Grissom's office. Where they find their boss already looking to the door with what Warrick thinks is an odd look of his face, but Sara recognizes it is a cross between sadness and confusion. "Oh, Hi Gris, just dropping off some paperwork before we head home." Warrick says as he takes Sara's work from her and puts it with his in the In Tray.

Sara just observes Grissom quietly offering him a small smile "See you tomorrow Grissom, don't stay too late, you deserve a break, don't forget to relax a little." She knows he understand she is trying to say _I still care, please don't take on too much, I'm still here if you need anything_. He offers her a whisper of a smile as Warrick leads her out.

Grissom is frozen at his desk for minutes after they leave. He is unsure if he should be happy that his friend made Sara laugh and smile or if he is jealous that Warrick can still have such light and simple interactions with her when he himself can't. In the end he settles on a combination of the two. These contradictory feelings are not new to him, though he is learning how to deal with them a little better and trying focus on the positives. He repeats what has become his mantra ever since they found her _She is alive, she is alive!_ Pinching the bridge of his nose he briefly considers heading home. Looking at his now full In Tray he instead chooses to attack some of what he considers to be the devils work. _Catherine will be so proud_ he thinks allowing something resembling a smile to cross his features as he gets to work.

TBC

Please R&R


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N – Thanks for your reviews. They always make my day. _

_A/N 2 - This is a pretty depressing chapter, sorry. It deals with Sara's childhood. Imagery of domestic violence and allusions to sexual violence. Please remember this if you are particularly sensitive to these issues. I needed to do some back-story so Warrick would understand her reaction to her brothers wedding. I don't know if it works – but here's hoping. Let me know._

_Anyway, here we go - serious reading mode now please! and in case your wandering if I owned any of them my husbands name would be Warrick! It''s not sadly so there's your answer _

**Picture That!**

Chapter 3 – Breakfast

Pulling up at Warrwick's house Sara felt a wave of apprehension overtake her and she very nearly turned right back around again. She likely would have if Warrick hadn't heard her car coming up the drive and opened the door before she had the chance to back out. Sending her one of those charming, butter wouldn't melt smiles that shoots right to her heart. Sara had to make an effort to control her breathing as she walked to him and had just about succeeded in calming herself when Warrick pulled her into an all consuming bear hug. Sara wasn't as surprised as she might have been – he has taken to these displays of affection when he thinks she needs some love, what does still surprise her is that he always knows just the right moment when she is about to break.

"Alright girl, pancakes are almost done, how about you get us some drinks, I'll get the toppings ready." Sara followed his orders and five minutes later they were sitting down to a scrumptious looking breakfast; Now if only Sara could find her appetite! Warrick watched her pick at her food for as long as he could before placing his knife and fork down and standing up. Taking hold of Sara's small hand he led her to the couch. "Sara what is going on? I haven't seen you this troubled in a long time please tell me, you will feel better after it's off your chest I promise." Looking in the worried eyes of her friend Sara sighed and gave him a small, forced smile.

"It really isn't that big a thing, I am completely overreacting…" She stopped talking and he followed her eyes to see what had silenced her. Rising from the couch and walking slowly to Warricks bookshelves and She picked up a framed picture of Warrick with his Grams at his college graduation. Coming back to sit beside Warrick she took a breath and continued "…My family is a lot different to yours Rick, I know after your mother died you just had your grams, but I can tell from the way you talk about her that she gave you a safe and happy home. You knew you were loved." Sara risked a glance at Warrick to make sure she hasn't said anything out of turn. He gave her a slight nod to keep going not wanting to interrupt in case she shut down completely.

"My house was not like that…" she says in a distant voice staring into space "…My parents ran a B&B just outside San Francisco, it wasn't that busy and didn't make a lot of money but we had enough regular summer guests to get by. You would think because of the constant visitors nothing bad would be able to happen there. If only! It was the 70's and my parents were into the free love thing, rock and roll, drugs, booze, you name it they did it…regularly." Warrick watching Sara as she talks wonders if she realises she is shaking.

"The fights in our house would make your ears ring…they were so loud. I can remember when I was really little I would stick cotton wool in my ears to try and dull the sounds of my parents screaming. It didn't work! It started with just verbal fights and went on that way for years. But when I was about 7 my dad seemed to just snap. Suddenly words weren't enough and he began making his arguments with fists, or really anything within reach. My mother bore the brunt of it. Danny would take me upstairs to his bedroom and try to distract me. That didn't work either. Eventually dad got sick of using mum as his punching bag and started beating on Danny. But soon Danny if he was even at home, was always high or stoned, more often than not he was passed out from the drugs and dad had no interest in attacking someone who couldn't make it interesting for him. So my turn came around."

Warrick notices her knuckles are white from being clenched so tightly in her lap. She has tears running down her pale face and her normally strong, defiant voice is shaking. Warrick can hardly bear to hear the emotion in Sara's voice when she speaks again and can't stop the lump in his throat from forming.

"I was a weedy kid Warrick, I was tall for my age but very skinny, my parents weren't too good at the three meals a day thing. Mum tried to protect me the first few times he went after me, but she soon discovered he would just hit me more. I would try so hard not to provoke him. I used to creep through the house on my tippy toes. I'd leave for school early and come home as late as I could hoping that he had passed out already and I would be safe for a night…"

Sara pauses as a memory comes to mind and Warrick is confused at the apparent change in direction that the conversation takes when Sara starts talking again with a sad smile on her face. "We had two dogs, Buddy and Zorro. Zorro was an outside dog. But Buddy, he was my dog. He was really my only friend. Unfortunately for him my dad's violence wasn't limited to the human species. He would kick the hell out of those dogs for no reason at all…" shrugging she adds "…I think it was just to hear them whimper."

"Buddy was my sole protector once Danny hit the drugs. He never left my side in the house…" letting out a small laugh at her memories Sara continues "He would even sit outside the bathroom and wait for me to come out, growling at anyone who came near me." That brings a sad smile to Warricks face, which evaporates instantly with her next sentence.

"When my father's interests in me changed Buddy would sleep in my room every night. He took guard on the floor between my bed and the door. He would try so hard to keep him away from me. Although eventually the kicks wore him down till he could barely move. But even then he never deserted me. He would stay in the corner until my dad left and then crawl onto the bed with me, right up to my face. He used to lick my face – I think he was trying to take my tears and my pain away, and he would lie with me until I had no tears left and fell asleep. God I loved that dog!"

When Sara looks up at Warrick she is surprised to see that he is crying with her. She had forgotten he was there, in her mind she is back in her old bedroom; reliving it all. Sara doesn't flinch when Warrick reaches for her hand, instead she takes all the comfort she can from him, needing the reassurance more than ever.

"Anyway when I was 11 Dad gave Buddy one hell of a beating and he was just too old to cope anymore. He died in my arms, still trying to take my pain away. I buried him under an old tree in our backyard. I would sneak down to his tree at night after dad had finished with me. I would lie down on his spot and talk to him until I passed out from the pain and exhaustion."

By this point Sara wasn't even able to control her sobs. Warrick, barley controlling his own emotions, pulled her into his lap, holding onto her as tight as possible. His heart had never hurt for someone more than it does for Sara in this moment. Taking as deep a breath as she can Sara goes on "The abuse got worse after Buddy died, and I became even more withdrawn. I learned to escape from the pain and terror by reciting scientific theories in my head. Dad only came to me when mum was too high or too injured to realise what he was doing. One night though he mistook sleeping for passed out. My mother woke up to my cries and came to investigate. He didn't hear her come in. I'll never forget to look of pure hatred on his face when my mother jumped on his back. He was so pissed that he had been interrupted! Can you believe it?"

"They started going at it, I think it was the only time I'd seen mum show any real desire to defeat him. She got him out of my room and into the hallway. When he picked up Danny's baseball bat from the landing she ran downstairs trying to get away. Dad chased after her screaming at her _'I'll kill you, you stupid whore'._ For some reason I followed them, I still don't know why. I just had a feeling."

"My father managed to hit mum with the bat a few times, she broke her arm trying to deflect it from her face. He was in such a rage. I had never seen him like that before. He kept saying he was going to kill her and then me. He was deadly serious. My mother could see it too and she grabbed a kitchen knife and just started stabbing him. She went crazy, she only stopped when she couldn't lift the knife anymore. Then she crawled over to where I was curled up in the corner and just rocked me saying _'It'll be okay'_ over and over again for what seemed like hours."

"Eventually the cops came; apparently the noise level had shocked the neighbours into calling the cops. They came and took mum away and put me into care until they could locate Danny. They never found him. So I went from foster home to foster home until I was 17 and got a scholarship to Harvard. I never heard from him again until 3 years ago when I get a letter. Apparently he'd seen me on the news for a case. He wrote his number and said I should call if I ever wanted to talk. So anyway after that case in the mental institute I called. It was really awkward at first, who am I kidding? It's still awkward. We've only met face to face once and now he wants me to come to his wedding, in San Fran. I don't think I can do it Rick."

Sara finally finished and fell silent trying to compose herself. Warrick was silent just trying to process everything his friend told him. All the time with Sara still sitting in Warricks lap, Warrick unconsciously holding on to her even tighter and rubbing his hands up and down her goose bumped arms. They stayed liked that for moments, minutes, hours, who knew? Eventually Warrick broke the quiet that had descended over them. "My god Sara, I had no idea. Do you have any idea what an incredible woman you are to have made it through all that?" Looking into his eyes she had to see if there was pity behind his words, but all she found in those deep green eyes was compassion and admiration and it made her heart beat just a little bit louder and just a little bit stronger giving her the courage to speak again.

"The idea of going to his wedding; back there, he's getting married just two towns away Warrick. It's too much, I haven't been back to that area since that night. It still haunts my dreams, I don't need to feed those memories. Danny wasn't in the state when it happened but I just don't think I'm strong enough to go back. But I know it means a lot to him."

"I understand Sara but you don't have to do this alone. What if I come with you? I could come with you and if it gets to much we leave. We just come home and leave it behind."

"I don't know Rick. I want to be there for Danny, I'm the only family he's got. But I don't know if bringing all that pain back is exactly a great idea."

"Sar, don't hate me for saying this but it sounds like the pain is still well and truly with you. You might get some peace or closure from going back. Maybe it's time to stop avoiding it. Just think about it okay? That's all I ask."

Another Sara sigh as she lay back to rest her head on his shoulder, relishing the heat and the feel of him. "I'll think about it. I know what you saying, I'll talk to Danny to see if it's even possible to bring a plus one." She just feels his response, nodding his head before bringing it back to rest on the top of hers. They stay there on his couch in that intimate pose, healing each other from the pain of the day until they hear the tell tale sound of a growling stomach. Noticing the time Warrick suggests they try eating again, this time dinner – they have to be at work in 3 hours.

They work together to prepare a meal. For the time forgetting their intense day and reveling in some simple, meaningless office gossip: Hodges latest disastrous attempts at flirting (the new receptionist – Eckile's niece), Greg's antics to win Grissom over (volunteering for a rather unfortunate 'bowel' experiment), Sofia and Catherine's clash (who knows what started that), Archie flirting with Wendy, Wendy flirting with Nick and Nick being oblivious to it all!

"Seriously Warrick, I have never met a man more obtuse when it comes to woman… well except maybe Grissom!"

"Yeah I know, he needs a good kick up the backside, Wendy would be great for him. He's just too blind to see it."

Finally with all the food devoured, the dishes done and all gossiped out Sara makes a reluctant move to leave. Giving Warrick a long hug at the door she can't stop her eyes from welling as she thanks him his ears and his shoulder. "You were right, I do feel a little better, and maybe even closer to a decision. It means a lot that you would offer to come with me Rick. Thank you for everything. You're the best friend a person could hope for." Warrick just gives her a trademark grin.

"Right back at you Sar, and remember I am here for you anytime, day or night!"

"I will. See you at work in about 40… God I might even be late – that will definitely be a first." She can't help but laugh at her own obsessiveness.

"Bye Sar"

As she is getting in her car Warrick adds "Don't worry I'll protect you from the evil Boss Man!"

Laughing as she drives away, still feeling conflicted and frightened but a little lighter, thinking _this sharing thing can't be all bad_ which is followed directly by _my therapist would be so proud. _And then: _Now how the hell am I going to look presentable for work?_

_TBC -----_

_A/N What did you think? Is there anything you would like to see happen? Very open to suggestion._

_Thank you for reading :)_


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